Isn't it crazy how our minds work?
As I reflect on Sunday, my mind seems to selectively start omitting the worst parts. Suddenly that epic journey I was embarking on during the run almost seems...fun? No! REMEMBER, SARAH! REMEMBER THE PAIN! REMEMBER HOW YOU FELT!
Funny...I don't remember my brain being like this....!
Yeah, but...then I remember how proud I was at that finish line. How good it felt to put my arms over my head and shout YEAAAAAAAAAAH!!! at the top of my lungs with the biggest smile on my face.
The bike part almost seems nonexistent. It was so short. I remember getting to Chalk Hill (for those of you first-timers...you have to admit...it's really not as bad as they say, is it? It was done before you knew it!) and thinking "wow...this ride flew by." Could be because I know the course so well at this point I think I could ride it in my sleep.
But still, it was the run that stands out the most. The last portion of my three-sport event.
And yet...instead of getting stuck on the lowest points, my mind instinctively finds the highest points. Hitting La Crema winery. Mile 7...that was a good time. When Soda passed me around mile 7.5...another high point (I was so happy for her and it inspired me to not let her get too far ahead of me!). Mile 9 - realizing I wasn't crashing, even though my legs hurt. Mile 12 - the final stretch and I suddenly realized that yes, I was indeed finishing, and for the first time in this race I'd done 3 times, the only times I had walked were for (very) brief stints through aid stations - WOW! I realized right then and there that even though I'd gone slightly slower than I'd wanted, I really WAS stronger this time around. How ABOUT that!
So as I sit and reflect, I begin to wonder 'why?' Why was I swearing off halfs for the rest of the year? Was it really that bad? Why was I contenting my mind with the idea that I never had to do this again in 2008? Was it hurting that much? Maybe, but I can't recall!
Reminds me of how I call that run course a 'mostly flat' run with 2 hills. Loren said it was a big lie. When I posted my 'tips' on Slowtwitch.com the race director of Vineman and some other guy got all on me because they said it was NOT a mostly flat run!! So I amended my statements. But honestly...even after 3 times...I'm still scratching my head. I don't really remember many rollers besides those 2 hills. And over 13 miles...let's say 2 hills and 2 rollers? Still = mostly flat, right?
I don't remember. Maybe my mind is good at blocking out the pain. It endures it and then throws it away to make room for more important things, like desire and motivation and excitement and grammatical rules.
Whatever it is, I'll take it. I still am not doing anymore half-Ironmans this year (I signed up for the LA Triathlon today - Olympic distance, woo hoo! And Courtenay's birthday, yay!!), but I am thinking ahead to what I might plan for next year, after all...